idiot ;)

everyday i pull off my curtain and look out from my window when i heard car's engine pass by my house and what i get is disappointed and nothing. i feels like i am totally an idiot every times i did this action. waiting somebody appear with a surprise but my expectation always turns to fog. waiting for the message all the time and thinking about what the hell are you doing why don't you reply my message and smash the phone to the floor with the highest anger. staying house alone and thinking the topic we quarrel last night but will never solved until the problem find the right time to solve itself. how lonely you know the feel staying at house but nothing to do some more without any mood and just can think about nonsense. feels like going to cry but you are not beside me no one can comfort me after i cried then i just hold back. meet you today but you still the same and watch the time 3 minutes once. is gathering with friends important than me when you see your girlfriend bothering the problem between you and she? i have nothing to say and ask because your heart isn't here anymore. the sentence you said twice hurt me without any perception. i feel heart broke but you seems never realize. since i feel heart broke, the thing i can comfirm is i love you. no matter what happened, i still besides you. but i don't what can i do now. both of us. that's why i say i am an idiot.