闭关中

it's sunday! the first day of a week. it is a good start :D 好吧，决定了今天开始闭关。上个礼拜几乎每天都出去吃饭，好像有点太enjoy了，还好去高雄也没花很多钱，所以今天开始节制吃沙中~ 昨天一整天心情很不好，可是出去游玩没有理由摆着张臭脸，隐藏自己的情绪真的很辛苦，想哭不能哭，还要勉强的笑。来到这里后真的很少哭，因为哭了也没人会安慰，沒人會理解，別人只會認為我是個懦弱的小女孩。昨天回来的时候吹着秋天的冷风，随着冷风狂喊，突然心里舒畅了很多，然后泪也随着划过我的脸颊。我真的很讨厌冷战，很讨厌吵架。我真的很想他，每一次都会热泪泛框，禁不住落下思念的泪。突然领悟一些道理，明白了些事情，很多事情有得必有失，也要做出相对的付出。

what should i do?

every time i went out with my senior, there is always a dissatisfied voice seems asking me not to go. maybe the word of "senior" is a bit sensitive for him, but actually the name of "senior" is a kind of culture in taiwan just like in korea they will call their senior as "oppa". but the relationship between us is just like friend or brother, pure like distill water, nothing else. i just cant figure out why he just cant trust me? am i very cant be trusted?  i dont know. i am sick of those argument. studying here alone never be easy. i have to adapt in a new environment and make new friends do everythings all my own. i never complain because i choose this. i am glad to know the malaysian here because they are the only one willing to help me than others. they know what exactly what we newbie feel because they had been through these. so they take care all of the newbie, not just me. i will take good care of my junior too in my second year because i know the feel nobody can call for help and always having breaksfast lunch dinner ourselves.  i will feel warm when be with them, just like i am still living in malaysia, no doubt i miss malaysia so much, either place or people there.
i just dont understand how could he not trust me but i do. i miss him every minute every second. sliding my phone all the time while in the wifi area just to have a look on the fb messenger see if he online or any message for me. greet with him every morning had already be a habit. message him once i saw him online although i have nothing to say but just a name 'babeeee' i will feel like he beside me. look back every single photo of us when i feel bored in class, flash back those memories of the happiest moment. just a little i felt sweet and love. why cant you trust me? i just love you very much, but it hurt when you dont trust me.

air ticket

今天是中秋節,大多數人都回家團聚了,而我還留在宿舍,是有點傷感還很無聊. 可是今天一起床自己卻做了一件讓自己EMO到極點的事情.我真的很想死,為甚麼自己會訂錯機票??!!! 我竟然訂錯了機票OMG!!! 結果換機票要加多兩百多塊,那是我半個月的生活費了啊..... 我為甚麼會那麼粗心,那麼大意. 真的很想從窗口跳下去算了.... 這樣子一弄機票就變成了1500.啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊~~~~~~~ 真的甚麼mood都沒有了. deardear那麼辛苦地賺錢,我那麼用力地花錢. 真的是慚愧到了極點. 現在開始的每一餐都不敢出去吃飯, 要省回那條數目. 我以後都不敢買機票了,暑假也不敢回去了. 我還是乖乖地待在這裡吧. 很想買醉,很想shisha,很想哭.....
對不起.........

hello屏科大 !

everything is just awesome and wonderful since i reach taiwan. everything fine here i live good here. a very different life begun. i met a lot of people here. i met many kind of people here. what i can tell is my malaysian senior is just very gentlemen and kind, they volunteer to help us and treat us like a sister. i feel warm when be with them, listening to their malaysian slang, talk to them with the malaysian slang, just like i am still living in malaysia! i can predict that we are family in the future :) so happy to know all of them. well, i met some selfish people too. especially those hongki. unfortunately my roommates are from hongkong and macau. startly i really cant adapt with their living habit which is wearing outdoor shoes walk inside the room. omg! how dirty is it. but one week past i realize that they are the person who have to live with me a year or longer so i have to coordinate and accommodate with them. we have to be friends or else we gonna be enemies. no doubt i prefer friends.
class started. it is not the fashion design and management i thought lol. i am now studying skincare and cosmetology. those products are costly still thinking how am i gonna survive for the following months. my english is getting worse because i dont have chance to speak and learn english here. so scare after i back to malaysia all my friends speak english fluently but i dont. many things have to learn by my own here. time management is a very important things while you are in university. because nobody gonna involve what you gonna do. all are by your own. actually i think place is quite good for me to study here because i can forget what is clubbing temporary. i miss alcohol! i miss jagerboom, black label, long island, apple cider, and more. unfortunately alcohol and cigarette are not allowed in my school T^T i miss shisha soooooo much. and the time i be with my lovely jimuis. i gonna back in 4 months! yay <3 p="">long distance relationship is not easy at all. while i am missing him but i cant hug him. that feels hard. but i will insist on it and nobody can replace him because he really is the best mr.right i ever seen. i love you my dear <3 p="">