想家了

well, 來了台灣一個多月, 現在才來說想家了會不會他遲了一點? 呵呵. 這一個月其實也不難過, 日子一天一天過去, 辛苦 壓力 開心 不開心 都要過下去. 曾經想過無數次想要買機票馬上回去, 我真的不想再待下去了, 可是一看到桌面上貼著的紙鼓勵著自己"为梦想坚持下去！不到走头无路都不可放弃！" 我又一次一次的打消了念頭. 因為這條路是我自己選擇的, 就算跪著走都要走完它. 雖然這幾天都在想著要不要回去馬來西亞讀好, 因為我發現服裝設計這科在屏科大讀簡直就是個很嚴重的錯誤! 這已經是公認的. 唉, 也沒辦法, 實踐又進不到, 而且私立大學也很貴, 可能這就是上天註定要給我的考驗! 經過不斷的考慮, 我還是決定讀完它再打算. 這整個禮拜心情都很不好, 也不知怎麼了就很emo, 突然就很想回家. 為甚麼我不是有錢女? 我有錢就可以在連假的時候回去了. 很想念我的家人, 不知道他們還好嗎, 不知道爸爸還有夜歸嗎, 不知道媽媽還有每天偷偷哭嗎, 不知道弟弟有沒有乖乖聽話.

很想念我的deardear, 很想抱抱他, 跟他說我很不開心, 然後在他懷裡大哭, 有人會安慰我. 這世上最幸福的事莫過於遇到一個好男人, 也是最難的事情, 他可以為你付出一切, 為你擔心一切, 幫你照顧你照顧不到的人, 幫你做一切你做不到的事情. 最重要是他會在你辛苦壓力的時候跟你說"你頂不順的話就回來吧, 你回來我可以照顧你, 我可以養你. 看到你辛苦我很心疼" 聽到這句話的時候真的無比感動, 這輩子有個男人跟你說一次就夠了. 可是我很自私, 因為這是我自己選擇的路, 我想走完它, 無論它多辛苦. 對不起寶貝. 辛苦你了.

最重要的還是我的男人不會劈腿, 哈哈! 為甚麼我那麼堅定? 因為我就是相信他 :D 前幾天才剛剛看完真人上演劈腿事件, 其實我真的很震驚! 劈腿竟然可以那麼瀟灑和淡定?! 而且還是我的朋友... 來到台灣不到一個月就和另一個男生在一起, 也太強大太快了吧! 然後現在每天處於sweet sweet的狀態. 我也很想sweet sweet, 我也很想和男朋友手牽手散步好不好?! haizzzz

來到這裡最辛苦的事情不是課業繁重 不是壓力 不是沒有的出去玩 不是沒有好料吃 不是沒有錢, 是沒有一個可以讓你傾訴心事的好朋友. 算我比較倒楣吧, 目前還沒遇到. 很想念六姊妹, 跟他們談天事無忌憚, 很想念那三個一起去clubbling去唱k一起癲的38婆. 在這裡就是一個人, 很多時候都是一個人吃飯, 那感覺很空虛... 

我想家了...

忙忙忙 纍纍纍

昨天剛從超累人的新生迎新營回來,回到來真的快垮了,卻還不能休息,要熬夜做色彩學,管理學的功課.整個崩潰掉... 回到來還有一大堆衣服要洗,卻發現4樓的洗衣機兩架都壞掉!! 是怎樣?! 連老天爺也要作弄我... 頂著一大桶髒衣服跑上跑下等洗衣機, 還是等不到,真的氣到快要發瘋. 可是也沒有人可以給我發脾氣, 憋著真的很辛苦. 繼續默默的做我的報告. 經過一番的奮鬥, 終於要結束了!! 做完的那一刻真的鬆口氣, 終於 T^T

名副其實的看似簡單,做起來超難! 這是經過了多天努力奮鬥堅持的結果! 

從上個禮拜開始就不斷地在忙忙忙,好累課業好繁忙,希望這個禮拜可以過得輕鬆點. 重點是那兩天一夜的迎新超累人,簡直被搞到虛脫了. 第一次參加營要到凌晨3,4點才可以睡覺. 不過是個很棒的體驗, 沒有後悔參加 :D 雖然剛開始時有點下尷尬,因為沒有一個是認識的,而且中午的活動都只是練舞,而且都是要男對女的. 好尷尬 >.< 到了晚會開始,精彩的來了! 火棍,火球,熱舞,一大堆的表演真的好精彩. 最好玩的是結束時的high翻天party! 好久沒有那種在dance floor跳舞的感覺, 超棒的! 而且還是wet party. 一邊跳舞一邊被潑水哈哈哈, 真的好high! 然後還要是颱風天,大風吹過濕濕的身體,好冷~ 過後還要在凌晨2店去玩夜叫(鬼屋) 本人覺得還好不是很恐怖,可是還是會怕哈哈, 尤其是對裡面的女生嚇到哈哈. 然後我發現夜叫這一個遊戲根本就是給男生抽水的 -.- 當我看到那個男生直接抱著隊媽的時候, 無言... 

隔天的大地遊戲也在玩水呵呵, 可是我完全沒濕到,因為我隊的男生都幫我們女生擋到玩, 還不錯啦,終於顯示出男子氣概的一面 :D 節目到尾聲的時候最開心,因為終於可以回家了! 這兩天著得好累好累,可是好值得, 大學生活就是要這樣! :D

火棍表演

午餐要自己煮 :) 

大家都好分工合作 :D 

達噹~! 當我拿起鍋鏟炒菜的時候,大家都嚇了一跳哈哈,問我怎麼那麼厲害. 個人覺得是你們都沒在下廚好不好

 p/s: 經過這整個月跟台灣人的相處, 我發現可能大家剛剛從媽媽的懷抱出來, 都好不成熟, 而且有些還大小姐, 真的.... 好吧,你們還小, 我原諒你們.... 呵呵

比賽贏回來的錢! 如果這全都是真的拿該多好~~~

我班的宜嫺~

找到我了嗎? 哈哈

闭关中

it's sunday! the first day of a week. it is a good start :D 好吧，决定了今天开始闭关。上个礼拜几乎每天都出去吃饭，好像有点太enjoy了，还好去高雄也没花很多钱，所以今天开始节制吃沙中~ 昨天一整天心情很不好，可是出去游玩没有理由摆着张臭脸，隐藏自己的情绪真的很辛苦，想哭不能哭，还要勉强的笑。来到这里后真的很少哭，因为哭了也没人会安慰，沒人會理解，別人只會認為我是個懦弱的小女孩。昨天回来的时候吹着秋天的冷风，随着冷风狂喊，突然心里舒畅了很多，然后泪也随着划过我的脸颊。我真的很讨厌冷战，很讨厌吵架。我真的很想他，每一次都会热泪泛框，禁不住落下思念的泪。突然领悟一些道理，明白了些事情，很多事情有得必有失，也要做出相对的付出。

what should i do?

every time i went out with my senior, there is always a dissatisfied voice seems asking me not to go. maybe the word of "senior" is a bit sensitive for him, but actually the name of "senior" is a kind of culture in taiwan just like in korea they will call their senior as "oppa". but the relationship between us is just like friend or brother, pure like distill water, nothing else. i just cant figure out why he just cant trust me? am i very cant be trusted?  i dont know. i am sick of those argument. studying here alone never be easy. i have to adapt in a new environment and make new friends do everythings all my own. i never complain because i choose this. i am glad to know the malaysian here because they are the only one willing to help me than others. they know what exactly what we newbie feel because they had been through these. so they take care all of the newbie, not just me. i will take good care of my junior too in my second year because i know the feel nobody can call for help and always having breaksfast lunch dinner ourselves.  i will feel warm when be with them, just like i am still living in malaysia, no doubt i miss malaysia so much, either place or people there.
i just dont understand how could he not trust me but i do. i miss him every minute every second. sliding my phone all the time while in the wifi area just to have a look on the fb messenger see if he online or any message for me. greet with him every morning had already be a habit. message him once i saw him online although i have nothing to say but just a name 'babeeee' i will feel like he beside me. look back every single photo of us when i feel bored in class, flash back those memories of the happiest moment. just a little i felt sweet and love. why cant you trust me? i just love you very much, but it hurt when you dont trust me.

air ticket

今天是中秋節,大多數人都回家團聚了,而我還留在宿舍,是有點傷感還很無聊. 可是今天一起床自己卻做了一件讓自己EMO到極點的事情.我真的很想死,為甚麼自己會訂錯機票??!!! 我竟然訂錯了機票OMG!!! 結果換機票要加多兩百多塊,那是我半個月的生活費了啊..... 我為甚麼會那麼粗心,那麼大意. 真的很想從窗口跳下去算了.... 這樣子一弄機票就變成了1500.啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊~~~~~~~ 真的甚麼mood都沒有了. deardear那麼辛苦地賺錢,我那麼用力地花錢. 真的是慚愧到了極點. 現在開始的每一餐都不敢出去吃飯, 要省回那條數目. 我以後都不敢買機票了,暑假也不敢回去了. 我還是乖乖地待在這裡吧. 很想買醉,很想shisha,很想哭.....
對不起.........

hello屏科大 !

everything is just awesome and wonderful since i reach taiwan. everything fine here i live good here. a very different life begun. i met a lot of people here. i met many kind of people here. what i can tell is my malaysian senior is just very gentlemen and kind, they volunteer to help us and treat us like a sister. i feel warm when be with them, listening to their malaysian slang, talk to them with the malaysian slang, just like i am still living in malaysia! i can predict that we are family in the future :) so happy to know all of them. well, i met some selfish people too. especially those hongki. unfortunately my roommates are from hongkong and macau. startly i really cant adapt with their living habit which is wearing outdoor shoes walk inside the room. omg! how dirty is it. but one week past i realize that they are the person who have to live with me a year or longer so i have to coordinate and accommodate with them. we have to be friends or else we gonna be enemies. no doubt i prefer friends.
class started. it is not the fashion design and management i thought lol. i am now studying skincare and cosmetology. those products are costly still thinking how am i gonna survive for the following months. my english is getting worse because i dont have chance to speak and learn english here. so scare after i back to malaysia all my friends speak english fluently but i dont. many things have to learn by my own here. time management is a very important things while you are in university. because nobody gonna involve what you gonna do. all are by your own. actually i think place is quite good for me to study here because i can forget what is clubbing temporary. i miss alcohol! i miss jagerboom, black label, long island, apple cider, and more. unfortunately alcohol and cigarette are not allowed in my school T^T i miss shisha soooooo much. and the time i be with my lovely jimuis. i gonna back in 4 months! yay <3 p="">long distance relationship is not easy at all. while i am missing him but i cant hug him. that feels hard. but i will insist on it and nobody can replace him because he really is the best mr.right i ever seen. i love you my dear <3 p="">

大笨蛋

为什么我总是在犯错后才后知后觉，那时补救已经来不及了，不被原谅也是应该的，我这个笨蛋。。。现在才发现我错得多么离谱，下次真的要睁大眼睛看清楚，哪些人值得为他那么做，哪些人不值得为他那么做。这一次，我真的看得清清楚楚，一直以来我觉得值得的东西，原来都是我单方面付出。真的太失望了。原来真的有人会为了自保而编个谎言伤害人家。这种人就是社会上的反社会人格，千万要远离这种人啊！这一路以来对他的伤害，我真的无法想象。我会慢慢的弥补，就算分开了，我也会默默的弥补对你的伤害。这人心险恶的社会，我又上了宝贵的一堂课

happy holiday

well i think this 4 days holiday is the best holiday for all those office worker :) i saw many people are outing for a trip these few days. so am i. suppose to be. but i am staying at home eventually on today the saturday night was suppose went to the heli lounge bar to enjoy the breath taking sunset on the roof top and then head to the club and enjoy my last clubbing in malaysia before i leave. all is about what i suppose to do tonight. but it all turn to bubbles because of my mom mad of me going out everyday. sigh. they never know how i care about them. what they thought is i am a lazy girl who doesn't like to work, do house work, take care of the lil brother who already 15 years old, doesn't care about the family stuff bla bla bla... i can stay at home because of them, because of i care about their feelings. i can back home directly if they need me to fetch them do things for them if they need me. but they never appreciate. be honest, i never ask money from them since i graduated. i am spending my own money own savings on every single meal, travel, outing, even the art class i have to pay every month. i just dont understand, am i wrong to enjoy my life with my money? what is your problem? just because of the school fees you will pay for me in advance and then you threaten me? well i can tell you that i am a independent girl when i was in high school. after i reach there i will find ways to solve my school fees without your concern. dont worry i wouldn't die there if you didn't give me money. i am a smart girl i know how to survive. if you dont want to take care about me, somebody does.somebody who love me and care about me will help me finish my education. although you thought he is not suit me. but i do. for the first time i can feel that a man sacrified a lot of things for me. the man that changed my life a lot. i love him so much. indeed.
many of my friends do not know why am i dont want to follow them for a trip. those who get pocket money from parents would not know how suffer it is when you have to spend everythings on your own. you have to think how you gonna survive when you left the last 50 bucks but still have 2 weeks more to get your salary. argument exsist when money not enough. but we been through all of it together. we help each other when the others have problem. we are more like a family now.
he made my day all the time when he is beside me ♥

caption: he is not handsome, he is fat, he looks old, he have a lot of bad habbits, but i love him so much, because nobody is prefect, so am i :)

the man who never drunk, feel safe when go drink with him :)

went DREAMZ BAKERY again. favourite green tea millie crepe ♥

green tea tiramisu, chocolate mint layer cake

latte, latte art swan

stupid face

like this the most, act cute face haha

hmmm nom nom nom, green tea cake is the best!

end up here today. going to restart my blogger life because i am going to taiwan! yay! stay tune ;)

兜兜转转，我又回到了原点

一年半了，我才发现，原来我都在转圈圈。刚开始转圈的时候，很幸福很开心，认为这是一条很直的路，我们会走很远很久。可是现在走到最后，才发现原来我又回到原点了。到最后，我还是得一个人，还是为了同样的理由，出去闯荡属于我自己的世界。还是一样没有得到任何人的支持。原来这一年半我所付出的一切都被视为狗屎，我所付出的信任，被他人践踏着。其实我真的是一个很单纯的人，我会为我觉得值得的人付出一切，只要我认为值得。你对我好，我会十倍奉还，你对我不好，我当然也会十倍奉还。事实永远都是难以接受。谎言，更让我无法容忍。我要怎么活在谎言中？我要如何与认为在用善意的谎言来“善待”我的人过下半辈子？这一路以来，我认为为对方付出是应该的，我尽我所能去做，结果我得到的是？谎言。这辈子，我最最最不能容忍的就是第一欺骗，第二不守时。我不希望步我妈妈后尘，每一天活在谎言中。每一次妈妈哭着向我说你爸爸又讲骗话了，他说好要回家的。。。我都会默默的跑去房间掉泪。我切身体会，那是多么的痛心，失望。

有人告诉我，如果你觉得没有爱了，那么就结束吧。爱，当然还存在，只是信任已经不存在。这就是我一直不舍得的原因，因为爱，我相信他会为了我改变。原来到最后，在改变的一直都是我。我好不容易把信任交给你，可是你却把我的信任当成低级品践踏着。难道我那珍贵的信任是随便给人家践踏的吗？我真的受不了，你怎么可以骗我，欺骗一个那么单纯的去信任你的人。。。真的是让我太失望了。。。。我为你掉的泪都可以养一缸鱼了。。。你怎么可以那么对我。。。怎么可以。。。。

insomnia

当我痛彻心扉,又没有人事物可以发泄的时候,我想到的只有这里。很努力地想要睡觉,可是眼睛偏偏不肯闭上。流过脸颊的泪是热的,从右眼流进左眼,再流进枕头。这也许不是第一次为了家人那么心痛,但是我相信这是最铭记于心的一次。第一次,我认为自己是多么的践,在他们眼中我是多么的cheap。conclusion is, I am definitely a BITCH. 我不能停止回想他们所说过的每一句话。我很清楚的知道,男朋友怎样都比不上家人,但如果连你们自己都不想要珍惜我的话,我真的宁愿一个人活下去,就算没有了他,我也活得下去。如果你要鄙视我的独立的话,那么我只好证明个你们看。反正从毕业到现在我都是自己赚自己花,没跟你们要钱吃饭要钱买东西。开始自己赚钱了,母亲节请你吃个大餐,几百块没关系。下雨你不能去上班,我即使不在家也马上飞车回来載你去。然而你现在说的是什么话?到底是谁忘恩负义?有时我真的不需要一个只会用语言伤害我的家人。